Recognise

Blaming the victim for all problems in the relationship; constantly comparing the victim with others to undermine self-esteem and self-worth; sporadic sulking; withdrawing all interest and engagement (e.g. days or weeks of silence).

Physical abuse includes directly assaulting the body; using weapons; driving dangerously; destructing property; abusing pets in front of family members; assaulting children; locking the victim out of the house; and depriving sleep.

Any form of forced sex or sexual degradation, such as sexual activity without consent; causing pain during sex; coercive sex without protection against pregnancy or sexually transmitted disease; making the victim perform sexual acts unwillingly; criticising, or using sexually degrading insults.

Systematic isolation from family and friends through techniques such as ongoing rudeness to family and friends; moving to locations where the victim knows nobody; and forbidding or physically preventing the victim from going out and meeting people — in effect, imprisonment.

Denying access to ceremonies, land, or family; preventing religious observance; forcing victims to do things against their beliefs; denigration of cultural background; using religious teachings or cultural tradition as a reason for violence.

Having complete control of all monies; granting no access to bank accounts; providing only an inadequate ‘allowance’; using any wages earned by the victim for household expenses.

Continual put-downs and humiliation, either privately or publicly, with attacks following clear themes that focus on intelligence, sexuality, body image, and capacity as a parent and spouse.